September 2010
8 posts
2 tags
Smell Ya Later Rivals
There are times when it’s easy to feel like you’ve lost at the garden game. Maybe an animal mauls something you spent months growing or maybe a tornado swings through and decapitates your garden owl. But sometimes, the pendulum swings the other way and for a brief, sweet moment, it’s clear that you’re the goddamn winner. The Bishop Don Magic Juan of Gardening. Today was...
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Open Questioning
In lavender land, the bees are partying like it’s 1999, sensing that Brooklyn will be under a sheet of ice in nearly three months. And while they do, I’m thinking on how I’m going to convert my big planters over to SIPs, sensing that I will not have much else to do up here in three months.
My man Bob Hyland told me he’s pulled plants out, hosed down their roots ...
3 tags
Day 7: The Search Continues
Poster Download Here (PDF)
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Well, well, well, what have we here?
Just before Tornado Bruce tore a my garden a new asshole and literally decapitated my garden owl, I made a shocking discovery:
Can you believe this?! I know, me neither.
A goddamn feather. In my rosemary bush.
Now, had this been a bald eagle feather I would’ve involuntarily starting humming our national anthem, looking Panthy dead in the eye, knowing that he too, understood its ...
2 tags
Oh You Know, No Big Whoop
I don’t think they usually name tornados but I’m choosing to call this one Bruce. The earlier names I had for it were too colorful to publish, even for me, a staunch supporter of the word “fuck.” After all, my mother reads this blog.
The storm, still yet to officially be called a tornado, rolled in while I was at work, sporting 100mph winds. The sky literally turned a...
3 tags
S.I.P. Celebrities
I caught wind that two of Brooklyn’s finest urban gardeners were holding a free workshop at the Farm City Fair on how to transform your city garden into a wonderland of healthy plants.
And when I say wonderland, I’m not talking “hey you have a nice basil plant” I’m talking, “holy shit, you have a FARM on your roof.” That kind of wonderland. I biked over...
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These Guys Are Finally Doing Their Motherlovin'...
Like most of my neighbors, I packed up too much crap and left the city last weekend making a few preparations before going, there being a slight chance of hurricane and all. I took S.T.E.V.E. off his regular perch on the chimney and strapped him to a chair, hoping his rotating head wouldn’t fly off in the storm and kill a stroller-bound child. In what the military might call a “pincer...
2 tags
This Tomato Has a Poop in its Pants
This is a crappy looking, not-yet-ripe tomato. Easy to know what to do with it right? Throw it in the trash, huck it over the fence, and if you are a 13 year old boy, light it on fire or throw it at a passing car.
For me, it’s not that simple. I GREW THIS and it sucks. It’s kind of like getting a lot of fancy groceries for a big elaborate meal, spending hours cooking and then...
