Someone fell asleep at the controls. Someone forgot to shut off the credit cards and close the accounts. Somehow, I was allowed to buy an indoor composting machine. And it’s here, humming away in the background as I type this.

I felt like Doc at the end of the Back to the Future, digging through the trash for banana peels and other moldy tidbits to fuel the DeLorean with. I literally sifted through my garbage can and fished out a banana peel, some coffee grounds, a bunch of stale crackers and a half-eaten piece of pizza.

I’ve cooled on it on the egg consumption lately resulting in a small stockpile of, uh, vintage eggs. Probably not a great thing to have… unless you have a composter! Right? I chopped up a few old pickles for good measure and tossed them in along with some mediocre Thai leftovers. Spicy noodles my ass.

In a bowl I made a lovely, balanced medley of “brown” waste (pizza crust, crackers, coffee grounds) and “green” waste (eggs, meat scraps, banana peel). One cup of sawdust pellets, a spoonful of baking soda and it all went directly in the metallic jaws of the composter.

There was something really fun about dumping a heap of food garbage into a brand new appliance, the same kinda satisfaction I get from smashing light bulbs. There’s gotta be something wrong with this. NatureMill, you’re telling me this will become lush, nutritious compost?

It all seems a little too easy, maybe a little too neat. We’re talking about rapidly decaying food waste, old eggs, leftovers and meat scraps; the stuff of garbage can nightmares!

In a few days we’ll know, first hand (second hand for you) whether or not this was a giant, gross, smelly mistake.